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Nostalgia Critic
The Nostalgia Critic is one of the many characters created by Douglas Darrien Walker, aka That Guy with the Glasses, and the main protagonist of his website. He is a short-tempered movie critic who reviews movies from the 90's era backwards, the arch rival of The Angry Video Game Nerd, and most importantly the main antagonist/protagonist villain in his site's two year anniversary, Kickassia. The Nostalgia Critic is put to rest as of the fourth anniversary movie To Boldly Flee, where he fuses himself with "The Plot Hole", and becomes merged into the universe, spending the rest of eternity keeping The Plot Hole stable. He is last seen, along with Last Angry Nerd and Hayden Christensen, watching the party the other reviewers threw, as well as his voice last being heard when the film ends. This leads to the officially ending of the series to make way for other shows that were planned for years. It was said, however, that The Nostalgia Critic would still appear in future specials. However, on the 22 of January, 2013, Doug Walker released a video called'' The Review Must Go On, signaling the end of ''Demo Reel, and the return of the Critic. The Critic later makes his first new review on Februray 5, 2013, in which he reviewed an obscure film entitled The Odd Life of Timothy Green. Personality The Critic is a very famous character in the site and he knows it, taking advantage of his fame whenever possible. He can get very angry if the movie's bad enough, or if his pride is put to test. He is also known for carrying a trademark handgun with him, and also for becoming incensed at the mere mention of the Bat-Credit Card, due to the trauma of reviewing Batman & Robin. However, he is sane enough to tell right from obscenely wrong and does follow a code of honour, for instance: *he famously condemns murder and mocking the dead, as seen in his Bridge to Terabithia review *another example would be when he was reviewing the movie Alaska a scene was shown where a hunter mocked a captured polar bear cub by using the cubs deceased mothers skin. After seeing this he was horrified and he regarded the action as demented and beyond sick *Another example would be Joe Paulson from The Tommyknockers angered the Critic when he found out Joe was cheating on his wife. He was further angered when Joe left a missing child search to make out with the post office lady. *He edited out one of his jokes after he made a joke about autism and regarded his joke as low and unfunny then also added that the autism joke is the only joke he has removed from a video. But what The Critic is most famous for is that he is a big enemy of the Angry Video Game Nerd, but in real life, Doug and James Rolfe are actually really good friends. There are some moments where he sometimes redeems himself, but all-in-all, he is considered an anti-hero. Mental Health, Deaths, & Resurrections The Nostalgia Critic has died several times, but then showing up in the following episodes completely unharmed and without giving any explanation. The mental health of the Nostalgia Critic has been progressively falling since he started reviewing movies. In particular, the Batman & Robin review made him go so insane he tried to kill himself many times and all sharp objects, even his tie, were confiscated from him. Feud With The Nerd The feud began when the Nostalgia Critic posted an online video where he satirically expressed his disgruntlement at the AVGN for failing to keep his fans "under control." He railed against comments, written by the Nerd's fans, which the Critic sees as "unfair comparisons between the two of them." This began a series of tongue-in-cheek video responses between the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd. The Nerd, posted on his forum that he himself was a fan of the Nostalgia Critic. In response, The Critic created another video, trying to figure out the code behind the Nerd's complimentary message (which turned out to say "LICK MY SHIT, NOSTALGIA CRITIC" spelled backwards,) a la The Da Vinci Code, and another video in which he blasted The Nerd for reviewing The Wizard before him. When The Critic did review the Wizard, he fictionally discovered that one of the main characters Jimmy, is actually the Nerd when he was a kid, which in part angered the Critic even more as he was trying to prove that no one from the film had a successful career after doing the movie. Finally, in early June, the Nerd responded in a satirical video (with disclaimers throughout) stating his "distaste" for the Critic. After watching the video, fans went to Walker's website, which immediately flooded Walker's server with over two thousand new unique visitors within the first two hours - with over 18,000 videos viewed. The Critic then challenged the Nerd to review an awful nostalgic film. Later in the month, The Critic went to the Nerd in person at a video game convention in Clifton, New Jersey, exchanged satirical fighting words (one included on Critic's stay on Youtube) and the two had a fake brawl in the parking lot, along with another Internet personality, Captain S. The Nerd agreed to review a bad film, as long as the Critic reviewed a poor video game. Eventually, the Nerd reviewed the low-budget spoof film Ricky 1, and the Nostalgia Critic reviewed the video game version of the animated film Bebe's Kids. The culmination of the rivalry, called the Final Battle, features a lengthy fight scene parodying popular films and cliches; in particular, The Matrix Reloaded and Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. The video also borrows elements from the Nerd's review of Super Mario Bros. 3, including his "battle armor" and Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 B.C. Version 4.0 Beta (bitch). The entire "fight" takes place in the Nerd's room. In the end, the fight was won by the Nerd when the aforementioned Super Mecha Death Christ attacked the Critic. At the end of the Final Battle, the Critic appears to be dead. However, the Critic's bloody hand is seen reaching up. The Critic later returned in the TGWTG Team Brawl, along with many of the site's contributors in a battle between critics and gamers. In the end, thanks to Ask That Guy's (another of Doug's characters) suggestion, both teams reached a truce and left in good terms. Feud With Other Reviewers Many times before, the Critic has been shown to be hostile and jealous towards other reviewers on the site, not just Cinemassacre's Angry Video Game Nerd. Many of these fights are due to his post as Nostalgia Critic being "threatened" by the others, or due to other people reviewing movies before him. In the crossover review of "FernGully: The Last Rainforest" with the Nostalgia Chick, both are seen fighting each other because the Chick was supposed to do the review first, however they also fight to escape seeing the rest of the movie halfway through the review. In his Halloween month opening, the Critic's house is broken into by a masked assassin who stabs him to death (the Critic asks "Why're you looking at your hand when stabbing me?") and the assassin turns out to be JonTron, who mocks the Critic for reviewing FoodFight. In Phelous' review of "The Deaths of Ian Stone", his death gag for the episode has the Critic shooting Phelous after he said that Doug was funny (Walker absolutely hates any comparison between his name and the protagonist of Nickelodeon's "Doug", Doug Funny). LordKat's review of "Bebe's Kids" for the Nintendo was interrupted by the Critic once, as he had already reviewed the game due to the Nerd challenging him to do so. After the Kickassia incident, it was the Critic who revealed the identity of Chad "CR" Rocco when people started claiming he searched deeper into nostalgia, which made the Critic send him a camera "disguised" as a fruit basket, which results in a double review of the villain Baby Doll from "Batman: The Animated Series". In many cases, the Critic is the one who starts the fights. A known incident is when he tricks Sean Fauzs, Rollo T, Y Ruler of Time and many other unfortunate victims into reviewing "Dragonball Evolution" after receiving a ton of fan mails telling him to review the movie, even despite his hatred for the franchise in general. The incident left such an impact, that the first suspect of making Rollo, Y Ruler, JesuOtaku and Todd In The Shadows review M. Night Shyamalan's "The Last Airbender" is none other than the Critic himself (although the real culprit was import game reviewer JewWario). And after defeating Roger in his Christmas Special and seeing how everyone's life would be better without him, the Critic proceeds into insulting all of the reviewers he saw in his trip, as they reply with equal disgust for him. Kickassia costume during his rule.]] The Critic discovered the micronation of Molossia, and becomes obsessed with taking it over and ruling it. The Critic personally attempts to solely take control, but was met with the door slammed in his face by president Kevin Baugh. The Critic decides to call upon his fellow reviewers to help him with the takeover. He motivates them with promises of continuing the invasion across the world and the second attempt was an utter failure, as the entire group was chased away by a single Uzi pulled out by Baugh. Phelous suggests using weapons, which the Critic takes as his own idea and dresses up as M. Bison, leading the charge and successfully taking over the nation. The Critic names himself President and the Nostalgia Chick as Vice President (parodying Sarah Palin). During the next few weeks, Molossia, now Kickassia, begins to have financial problems, and the Critic does nothing but sit and watch Hogan Heroes while stealing Phelous's ideas. Baugh, in his alter ego, inspires the others to contemplate the idea of being President and gives them a receipt for 20,000 pounds of dynamite, signed by the Critic himself. The others begin to doubt the Critic's honesty and mental health, and Cinema Snob concludes that he is indeed nuts when the Critic creepily admits to buying the dynamite, in case someone threatens to take his new nation. Film Brain overhears their plan to overthrow the Critic and tells the latter, who orders a trial for Cinema Snob. Everyone refuses to allow Snob to be exiled, but the Critic, abusing his power, overrules the refusals and Snob is exiled (though he states he's going to just stay at the hotel across the street). Everyone now decides to rebel against the Critic and decides to unleash Dr. Insano on him, after some reluctance from Spoony, but he eventually agrees. A fight ensues between the Critic and Insano, but he overpowers the mad scientist and holds him at gunpoint. Linkara and Benzai appears to stop Critic and accidentally spills it that they are conspiring against him. In panic, Insano begs for help from Santa Christ, who gets shot by the Critic and dies. The death of Santa Christ inspires Film Brain to join the others, who gets Linkara to plan a strategy. The Critic is caught off guard the next day when all of the reviewers attack him and corner him in the presidential house's kitchen. After a severe beating, the Critic is knocked out and everyone begins to fight over the role of President. However, Santa Christ appears and advises everyone to give back the nation to Baugh, considering the trouble caused by their invasion. The Critic recovers and refuses to give his nation to anyone and attempts to activate the dynamite, but the Snob had disabled them and the Critic is victim of another severe beating. He is forced to give back Molossia to Baugh, and angrily leaves, wondering why he wanted the place at all. Surburban Knights The Nostalgia Critic discovered a chain mail letter in his email revealing the existence of a magical gauntlet called Malachite's Hand. After doing research he discovered that the gauntlet indeed exists, though he continued to believe there was no magical properties in it and merely wants it as an object to make people pay to see. He then finds a map that would lead him to it, but he needs others and himself to dress up like fantasy characters. The Critic sent various slips of papers to his reviewers lying that they had won a free car. They were of course enraged at the revelation and decided to plan to kill the Critic in his sleep. The Critic greets his fellow reviewers before dodging a gunshot from Linkara and tells them about Malachite's Hand. Though the reviewers, except for Film Brain are skeptical. The Critic attempts to motivate them with an epic speech, but finds his living room empty and tells everyone leaving that if they refuse to participate they are fired. That night, the Critic overlooks his costume for the quest before finding Ma-Ti in his room, holding his own slip promising a car, though the Critic claims he never sent Ma-Ti one. Ma-Ti attempts to propose that he could join him and the others on the quest, though the Critic convinces him to stay. The Critic dresses up as Link and splits up the group in order to cover more ground. Leading Team A, the Critic encounters various enemies, such as Cat, Chester A. Bum (as "The Voice of the Forest"), and Witch Warrior. All through this, the Critic fails to stay in character and accidentally continued to show his bare crotch due to his short skirt. Obscurus Lupa (as Snow White) and Nostalgia Chick (as Arwin) teach him to act like a lady, despite his protests. Ma-Ti continually shows up, offering to help, but knowing that he is useless, the group wards him off by lying that the Nostalgia Chick lost her contact lens or that 8 Bit Mickey had a goat fetish and is in need of goat porn in order to be properly aroused. The Critic and Team A arrive at a house and finds a book, which when opened, released Jaffers, the creator of the game. However, realizing that the critics are not true of heart, he attempts to kill them before they can find the gauntlet. Walking back home, the Critic snaps and rants about the others' insistence on staying in character, why he should even bother with stopping Malachite, and that Zelda is such a cockblocker. In his anger, the Critic realizes that Malachite sent him the chain letter, and that he wanted someone smart, brave, and adventurous enough (though Mickey corrects him by saying that he is in fact very greedy and none of those he listed). Realizing the danger of the situation, the Critic sets out of stop Malachite before running in Suede, having returned from his church mission and was a temp obstacle. On the way to the gauntlet, Suede tells him and the group about the backstory of Malachite. However, much to his rage, the Critic discovers that the gauntlet is in fact right where they started. Taking out the gauntlet and after shortly defeating Jaffers, the Critic discovers that Jaffers had replaced the gauntlet with a Power Glove, much to the approval of everyone present. Jaffers breaks free however, and calls on the help of his obstacles (though they are temporarily delayed by street traffic) and an epic battle ensues, with Team B returning to help with the fight. Malachite arrives and kills most of the Obstacles (except for Cloak #1, who is revealed to be the Last Angry Geek) and dons the Power Glove, having full control over his magical powers once again. However, Ma-Ti appears and interrupts his attempt to destroy the world of technology, ranting about how everyone has been a dick to him before trying one last time to do something. He points at Malachite and yells heart, effectively hurting the sorcerer. Realizing that Ma-Ti's ring is the Ring of Aeon (Malachite's old friend and the forefather of technology) the Critic and the others cheer Ma-Ti on as he fights off Malachite, resulting in a huge explosion that kills him. The Critic is saddened and has his cremated remains be put in an Oatmeal can and launched into space. After a few days of depressive loitering, Linkara accidentally mentions the Necronomicon, inspiring the Critic to find the book with Chester A. Bum. Possible endings and true ending of the series There were episodes where the Critic's depression hinted possible ends of the Nostalgia Critic series. At the end of his My Pet Monster review, Critic called the director to ask why he created this horrendous film. In an embarrassing twist, the Critic admits he rented and willingly watched the movie, as well as pointing out it's part of his "job" to watch children's programing and criticize it at the age of 28 (at the time of the review). He closes the review by sitting at a chair by the window rethinking about his life, which led fans to believe it was the end. However, there was review the week after as a depressed Critic reviewed 90's commercials, still feeling worthless about himself. The Critic would build his confidence back after singing an interpretation of "Poor Jack" from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Another incident was the review for Scooby Doo ''the movie. After almost ending the episode by saying "It fucking sucks!", the critic goes on a rant that progressively gets worse. He cries how his life so far had absolutely no purpose other than to review nostalgic films and shows. He says how he can't go out every night to be with friends, nor does he remember having any friends, and wishes to belong somewhere where he can contribute and feel belonging instead of being humiliated. He concludes by criticizing the people online who demand too much from the Critic (especially since most of the videos before this were crossovers with other members of the site), and that he works to the bone to give them everything they want. After reviewing the movie with his past and future counterparts, as well as being visited by Roger, who later tells Critic that there are so much that awaits him, Critic wakes up to Dino-Rob, who has a poker game at the house with 80's Dan and The Ghost of Christmas Future. Oblivious to the Critic, Rob has asked his brother to play cards with him for the past four years, but he wouldn't listen. Taking Roger's advice to "do things a little different," Critic joins the three cardplayers for a game, wishing that he'd play a long time ago (all which reference the series finale of ''Star Trek: The Next Generations). This was all build up to the site's 4th anniversary film To Boldly Flee. After spending the special wanting to find and save Ma-Ti, in "To Boldly Flee" part 8, The Critic convinces him to cross over and then joins with the Plot Hole to save the universe. He is presumed dead as he is along with Last Angry Geek and Anakin Skywalker as Force Ghosts, though he may have ascended as a higher being. Only Film Brian and Bennett the Sage appear to know of his sacrifice. On September 14th, 2012, Doug announced via video update that To Boldly Flee has marked the end of the Nostalgia Critic as a show. However, he did say the character isn't technically "dead" and may appear in future specials. One of which is that in Nostalgia Chick's "Cutthroat Island" review, where he phones the Chick from the Plot Hole, telling her to continue the Nostalgia name. Chick is able to tell that one of the results of merging with the Plot Hole is turning the Critic into a Muppet. However he later appears to Linkara's friend Harvey and explains that the muppet thing is on and off and eventhough he still controls the universie from within the plot hole he explains that it will not pay the bills and therefore now appears as the ghost of christmas past. As of 2013, this is no longer the case. Positive Reviews There are very few films and TV shows that the Critic has given a high amount of praise to, even fewer as described as being 'perfect'. These include: * Double Dare * Gargoyles * The Prince of Egypt * How To Train Your Dragon * Kung-Fu Panda * Kung-Fu Panda 2 * Jurassic Park * Holes * Conan the Barbarian (1982) * Total Recall (1990) * Sky High * Game of Thrones * Brazil (favorite movie) * Face/Off * Monster Squad * Avatar: The Last Airbender (Favourite Show) * Gravity Falls * Demolition Man * Animaniacs * Over the Garden Wall Villainous Acts * In his reviews of Waterworld ''and ''Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ''he smiles and laughs sadistically at scenes where children are slapped in the face. * In his ''Quest for Camelot Review, The Critic kept questioning the logic of the movie, and the lack of explanation, to the point where be created a massive explosion of rage, which resulted in the destruction of a city. He ended doing it twice in the review. He also did this during his Old vs. New: The Nutty Professor, but thankfully it was a small explosion. * During his Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*ck-Ups, The Critic beat up one of his workers who accidently posted the wrong video. Despite that the co-worker apologized for what he did, The Critic bashed his face onto the table forcing him to apologize again. The Critic then processed by kicking the co-worker and told him to lick his feet, follow by beating him with the handle of his gun. He then ended by telling him to clean up is own blood. The Critic attacked the Co-Worker one more time with the handle of the gun just for saying, "Get what?" ** At the end of the same countdown, The Critic broke into Douchey McNitpick and proceeded to shoot him. The Critic also did this during the Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*ck-Ups Part 2. * In his Revenge of the Commercials Review; after being tricked that there was a cure for diabetes, he lost interest in the commercial. He also decided to give five people diabetes. However, after he called a random person to inject some diabetes in them, the Critic realized that he's don't something horrible. * In this Baby Genius Review, The Critic was is a state of shock on how terrible the movie was. As he continued think of the movie, he became so enraged, that he punched a random guy in the face while he was attending a Con. In the same review, he had a Q&A panel he had to attend. Shortly after he sat on the panel, he got back up and yelled; "FUCK YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!". After he got out of his shocked state, he attended another Q&A panel, and said the exact same phase during the first Q&A; "FUCK YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!" * In his Moulin Rogue Review; the Critic shot brentalfloss for no reason except they needed a sad moment to end the review. * In his Child's Play Review, the Critic shot Phelous because he dies five times during the review. He does the same to Mr. Explainy-Pants in Phelous' review of Child's Play 3. * The Critic is also shown to kick various reviewers out of his house or hotel room. This happened during his The Wiz Review with Todd in the Shadow, The Bloodrayne Review, with both Spoony and Linkara. ** Near the end of The Wiz Review, Linkara showed up telling the audience that both he and the Critic are going to review Swamp Thing. The Critic retaliated by punching Linkara in the face off-screen. He did this so he could relax. * During his Odd Life of Timothy Green review, it was implied that he killed his neighbor's cat. * In his Catwoman review, the Critic became a complete hypocrite as he originally said that he's against women getting paid less than men, as well as when men sleep with multiple women is a player, but when women sleep with multiple men they're a slut. But after hearing the term "Male Academia", he then replied; "Male academia." Suck my sexist, women bashing, chauvinistic, stripper watching, porn loving, overly paid dick!" * In more recent episodes (namely The Master of Disguise review), the Critic's mental state has progressively gotten worse; including laughing sarcastically so hard that he beats random people up with a baseball bat, beats up Rachel as she laughed at a fart joke, and even destroyed the Happy Madison Productions building, making this one of (or perhaps the) worst of his acts. * Debatably one of his worst villainous acts was during his review of The Shining Mini-Series. As the review went by, the Critic grew increasingly bored to the point where he went on a murderous rampage, attempting to kill Malcolm and Rachael. Rachael suggested that if he found one good thing about the series, the Critic would finally calm down. However, the Critic was in denial that there was any redeeming quality as he considered the series to be boring. Eventually, Rachael found one good thing about The Shining Mini-Series; Jack's character was much better developed, as it showed the progression of Jack turning into a murderous psychopath. Because of this, Steve Weber's performance was, debatably, even better than Jack Nicolson's in the movie (which, in retrospect, could have been switched out with any other of Nicholson's roles). At first the Critic protested that the psychological progression wasn't scary, but the more he thought about, the more he concluded that Rachael was right. Unable to comprehend that Stephen King was able to pull something off better than Stanley Kubrick, the Critic went to a corner and sat down to rest. His love for the film, coupled with the shock that King did something better than his hero Kubrick, left the Critic frozen in a comatose state. * Another example is in his Eight Crazy Nights review, in which he lured 4 Happy Madison productions fans into the bathroom so that they could laugh at poo. After they entered the room, the Critic threw a grenade in with them and locked the door, killing them. However, their ghosts returned at the end to annoy him further. * During his Les Misérables review, The Critic, along with Kyle, and PawDugan didn't want brentalfloss in their review, so they make various excuses to keep him out. The three also tried to keep other reviewers from joining the review like Todd in the Shadow, and Linkara. * During his Ghost Dad review, Critic exacted his revenge on Malcolm and Tamara for what they did to him during his Wicker Man ''review. He lied to them that he had commited suicide after watching Ghost Dad and was a ghost, and that the only way to keep him visible was to do random, and rather stupid stunts such as, having Malcolm dress up like Gandalf the Grey while doing Jumping Jacks and reciting dialogue from Big Lebowski backwards. He also forces Tamara to dress up like a sexy Dorothy while wearing a sombrero, and have her talk in a Dorothy voice. The Critic continued to humiliate the two until he told them that he made it all up. The two managed to get some payback by beating him up off-screen. * During the ''Disney Afternoon episode, The Nostalgia Critic physically and conversationally abused his friends/co-workers, though he mainly beat up Malcolm several times. Once after Malcolm saying that he kinda like the TV show Doug, and another time when he mentioned Duck Tales, as the Critic had just gotten the theme song out of his head after 24 years. After Malcolm mentioned Duck Tales, the Critic ended up knocking him out, as well as having blood on his hands. Even though Tamara asked the Critic if they should get an ambulance, the Critic replied that it's too late for him. He also pulled out a shotgun and threaten them with it. He also acted rather childish towards them. * During his Food Fight review, The Nostalgia Critic watched a video of the last person who reviewed the movie. The video showed the reviewer committing suicide, to which the Critic replied, "Oh, I'm sure he's fine." He then told Malcolm and Tamara to keep checking those numbers as it's the least they could do to indulge the brilliant, intellectual minds he written for them. At one point, he was terrified by the film's imagery, that he confessed to a number of acts he had done in the past; including cancelling Firefly, encouraging Friends to becoming an online series, telling Taco Bell to have a breakfast menu, telling John Travolta how to pronounce Idina Menzel, and being the one getting rid of cartoons on Cartoon Network. After the review, the Critic found out that Food Fight had lost it's popularity, and as a result went on a rampage on various food produces in his house. * During his Swan Princess review, The Nostalgia Critic placed Malcolm and Tamara in the closet after they finished a segment known as Everything Wrong With This Plan in Under 40 Seconds and locked them in. He also said that he'll let them out if he makes another Sam & Max joke. He's about to get his just desserts as the two are forcing him to review The Lorax. * During his review of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, the Critic wore a chill pill patch so he would not scare his fans with his typical explosion of joy that came around every Christmas season. Tamara objected to him wearing the patch, believeing that he should be able to celebrate Christmas his own way. At the end of the review, despite Malcolm's objections, Tamara removed the patch, resulting in the Critic releasing all of his pent up love for Christmas by singing the heavy metal song 'I Fucking Love Christmas' (with Jesus Christ on guitar). This terrified Tamara and Malcolm so much that they tranquilized him in order to keep him under control, but he had developed a resistance to tranquilizer because of his obssession and finished the song, during which he said he would kill the two if they did not celebrate with him. * In his Christmas Story 2 review, Hyper Fangirl returns to Earth after an incident during the Princess Diaries 2 review. After overhearing that the Nostalgia Critic was reviewing Christmas Story 2, and believing that he's going to lose the Christmas within him, she rehired the assassin Benny to get the Critic back into the holiday spirit by reminding him on how great the original film was. However, this resulted in the Critic getting irritated by Hyper Fangirl, and eventually blurting out every possible way of saying that he hates her, that he can't stand her, that she would just disappear, as well as reminding her why people don't want her around. This act was so cruel that even Santa Christ thought that the Critic was mean-spirited. The Critic eventually made up for what he'd done by having Santa Christ send him back in time before he reviewed the movie, and even invited Hyper Fangirl to watch Christmas Story 2 with her. * The Nostalgia Critic appears to cross the line in his 2015 review of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, where he got so annoyed at Michael Bay's version of a classic franchise, that he actually shoots dead a whole bunch of children just so he can feel better. 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